when a guy cries

I had a few seconds pondering if this entry belonged here or on my personal journal - but I thought it seemed fitted enough to be here since it's not very much personal. Though it is on a certain side. Simply said, I am a self-conscious dork who enjoys solitude so personal stuff tends to stay that way - personal =D

Anyhow, so this post is as the title says. Nothing pic-heavy unlike my previous entries, though I am tempted to flood this entry with it - but screen-capping and uploading is too tasking at the moment XD So on to the topic, which is very much fandom-related hence it being here - guys crying. I don't know why but when I see one cry, I tend to cry as well. As in, seeing Nishijima-kun cry his bloody eyes out on stage, in front of thousands of fans, captured on camera for the DVD - made tears literally stream down my cheeks as well. I just cried, seeing him cry. It's endearing. Very. And it overwhelms you as well as you realize the reason he's crying. It's their first anniversary concert and they were singing their last song with their hands holding one anothers and gawd the song had to be a sappy slow song at that. The eight of them (now seven), from being backdancers to stars in their own limelight and glory. And I swear, Nishijima's crying is the kind of crying where someone just can't control the tear ducts and it all comes flooding out with the emotions so blatantly displayed without shame. Red and watery eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, quivering chin, sniffling nose, scrunched facial features and a slight breakdown - Nishijima-kun fell to his knees when the tears overwhelmed him as he said 'thank you' to the fans and hugged bandmate Hidaka as if a child would towards his/her mom.

And then of course there's Kanjani8 who cries on a frequent basis - but when they do so at concerts it's an emotional high because they truly cherish the very fact of them being there on stage together. Unlike other boybands, be it fellow Japanese ones, or Korean, etc. the eight have it tougher as they were the ones with less. Costume, PV-makings, promotions & publicity, etc.

Of course there's also Shinhwa when they won their first Daesang in 7 years, which is sort of like the top award a Korean musician can receive. They didn't even hear their name being called because they were so used to being second place but when it was repeated again, their eyes just went all red and all six started crying. Inevitably, I cried watching the footage as well.

There's just something about guys who cry that gets to me. I don't think they are being a wuss or any less of a man - even if they cried like Nishijima-kun XD, but instead I think it shows how much a person they are. Personally, I think it shows how appreciative they are of their life, how much hard work they have exerted, etc. That's what I meant when I say it shows the person that they are.

And a little on the personal side - and the non-fandom side of things, I've only seen one guy cry in front of my eyes. Okay, so maybe I've also heard one crying on the phone but I can't be too sure cause I was crying like hell during then so I think my sniffles far overwhelmed his - yes, it was incredibly emotional cause we were both trying to sort our feelings but it was crazy with the many other distractions that seem to pull us away from one another (yet it didn't work out in the end either). Anyhow, back to the one who cried before my eyes. He was crying for a girl who broke his heart and I tried my very hardest to get him to stop cause I felt my own was breaking for the pain was feeling and tears threatening to spill from my own eyes. Seeing those tears in his eyes made me realize how vulnerable he was - despite the facade, and how sincere his feeliings were for the girl. A few of our friends who happen to saw thought he was being incredibly childish/silly, but I didn't see it that way at all. Instead, I took it to learning that the guy before me had a sincere heart when it comes to love - commitment at the age of 17 where most boys at my school then were rather rare with it. I actually admired him for it.

Honestly, it's not just about being emotional - but about being in touch with what really matters to you and what's important to you.

In an unrelated fact - seeing Nishijima-kun cry made me fell in love with the fandom even more so. That and the point where at every concert they have; they would have the crowd fall into silence at the very end - so silent you could hear the pin drop, seriously - and they would, altogether, shout their hearts out to a 'Domo arigato gozaimasu' with a 45 degree bow. And the crowd hears them - loud and clear because it's total silence in the arena except for their earnest and sincere top-of-their-lungs shouts of thank you. It's amazing really.