a rEasoN foR evEryThinG...

My Mood: Lazy
Music: My Everything by 98 Degrees

What's up for today? Uh..not much again...except that I've gotten a few really good reviews about my fan fic. La la la la. Happy me. I love it when people I don't know, who don't know me either, leaves their reviews/comments/feedbacks about my fan fic. They can be so encouraging and so nice too. See, I have like...a total of 3 fan fictions. I completed one and in the midst of the other two. The completed one is my first ever fan fic...which is why I'm so proud of it. It's a One Tree Hill fan fic, I think I've mentioned this before. Yeah, I did. Lol. Anyway, so my first fic has like um...71 chapters. I know, so long. I took about two months to complete everything. I was a little nervous to post it up at this One Tree Hill fan fic board but then I was like, what the heck. So I posted up the first fic and the feedbacks were positive. So I carried on writing and posting new chapters. I kinda got so into it that my fan fic went on for quite long. Lol. 71 chapters! Hehe. Right now I'm in the middle of another fan fic...also One Tree Hill but the focus is on Nathan and Haley, my two favorite characters on OTH and also favorite couple. Hehe. The first one was a general fic, focused on all 6 characters...Brooke, Peyton, Haley, Lucas, Nathan and of course, Jake. Yeah, Jake's not the 'main' cast I know, but I like to think of him as one. Besides, Jake and Peyton are cute together.
Okay, I'll stop on this whole OTH thing. Back to my fan fic. So my second fic is currently up until chapter uh...um...chapter 19. Still not done with it yet cause I'm so lazy/busy..plus the board is also moving to a new one which I'm not sure if I wanna repost it or not. Then my newly-started one...a Slam Dunk fan fic. This one is at FanFic.net. Wow, the fan fics there are wayy cool and good. I love to read the Gilmore Girls fan fics there, and the Slam Dunk fan fics are pretty cool too.

I use to think fan fics are lame cause I was like, so lame, nothing better to do with your time but go create stories for your favorite movies/shows/anime/etc..But when I first read one, a Laley one (as in Lucas and Haley fan fic of One Tree Hill) I got so into it that by the time I finished reading I was like...wow, that was nice. Fan fics are like reading stories...just that you get to create them and they are kinda based on your favorite shows/movies/anime/etc..the characters in it. Soon, I started reading more on One Tree Hill fan fics and finally....decided to start my own fic. And here I am, with one completed one and another two more in progress. Hehe. I like writing fan fics, it kinda makes me drift away to another world where I can create.make-up anything I want..let my ideas run free. It kinda gives a rush...especially when people give you their reviews and all that. They give you constructive stuff...helpful/nice/encouraging comments...that just makes you feel the satisfaction. I managed to make a few of the readers on my fan fic sorta like touched/emotional over my first fan fic (the OTH fic)..they were like...'I wanted to cry when I read that part...' etc...I can't explain how...how I felt then. Knowing that I had manage to achieve the feeling I wanted my readers to have when they read the fic...it's way cool feeling. I love writing and reading, so this helps me to improve myself too.

I'm actually tempted to blog about One Tree Hill...but uh, forget it. Okay, so as a Christian..I believe that God has a reason for EVERYTHING. Okay so maybe I didn't when I was younger and more 'kiddy' back then, but as I grew older and think about it, I finally get that. See, I converted to Christianity when I was uh...14? I think...yeah. 14. Anyway, my faith isn't as strong as some Christians do have. I'm still learning and understanding my way around. But I'm in no hurry, I trust in Him and I know...just know...He's guiding me to find my path. Besides, He probably knows I'm one of His most 'mischievous/love-to-stray' sheep. Hehe. Anyway,I used to question God, ever since I was really young..why this/that happened...etc. So when I turned 16...I finally understood. There's a reason for everything.

Like when I fell sick with dengue...for a week! I thought He hated me that's why he wanted to punish me cause seriously, that first few days was torture...I was miserable. Very miserable and so darn freakingly weak. But when I got better, I found out someone had died of dengue and I was so close...to my own death if my parents hadn't drag me sooner to the private hospital. That's when it hit me, He probably wanted me to appreciate my life and stop being such a pathetic-pessimistic loser in my life. And to get off my butt and stop holding myself back. Second, when the guy I liked back in Form 3, hurt my feelings and all that..it 'was' a good thing. Why? Cause then I get to experience all things crazy/fun with the 'new' crush I had in Form 4/5 (although HE hurt my feelings too and not to forget...rejected me..lol) And now, this whole thing with my mum, my guess is that he wants me to 'grow-up'. I hardly cook/clean last time...but now, I'm like Cinderella. Wash the bathrooms...cook dinner...wash the clothes...etc. Lol. And there's so much more that I can just blog about and give out the reasons. Why do I think so? Cause I realized,with every challenges thrown my way...whatever it is..ranging from friends/family/school/guys..I learn something from it all. And when I think back about it, sometimes it's not until that particular 'thing' happens do the good/new 'things' happened. It's like a quote I read before...a door closes, but if you keep your heart open, another door will open up for a new beginning. I forgot where I read that from. Hehe. So, I believe...there's a reason for everything. So, people, when you feel the world is turning is back on you...believe that you'll get through the challenge...you'll live through it..it's gonna be okay, and there's a reason to it all. Maybe to make way for a new thing or maybe a lesson to learn, etc. Actually I would very much like to use Timon's quote (Timon from The Lion King..) which is, 'When the world turn its back on you, you turn your back on them.' Lol. But that's actually contradicting what I want to say/said. Hehe.

Btw, yes...I admit...I'm a bloody hypocrite for blogging about all 'good-positive things'..putting up inspirational/thoughtful quotes but I'm a semi-depressive person myself...Lol. Okay truth is, whatever depression I go through...its not something I wanna share with everyone...as in spreading the 'depression' around. I just wanna share all 'positive things' with people. Cause even though I'm such a pathetic loser (Lol) sometimes...that doesn't mean I want to drag everyone down to be pathetic loser like me. Like I've said before...I wanna make a difference, but if I can't do it for myself...then why not do it for others? The world needs an extra smile..an extra helping hand...an extra caring heart...an extra...you get the picture. So no matter how 'depressive' I am, I still think I should be blogging 'positive' things to encourage/motivate/inspire people. Lol...I sound a little too full of myself here. Hehe, didn't mean that.

Guess I'll end here, but before that...this sweet song by 98 Degrees..My Everything..is dedicated to my mom...my dad...and yes, my silly goofy big brother (Ha-ha, big ding-dong!). I love you guys...you're MY everything.

'The loneliness of nights alone. The search for strength to carry on. My every hope has seemed to die. My eyes had no more tears to cry. Then like the sun shines from up above. You surrounded me with your endless love. And all the things I couldn't see. Are now so clear to me. You are my everything. Nothing your love won't bring. My life is yours alone. The only love I've ever known. Your spirit pulls me through. When nothing else will do. Every night I pray.On bended knee. That you will always be...My everything.'

No copyright infringement intended...the song belongs to 98 Degrees and their recording company. Right...that's it.