I thought a lot these few days. Well lately, I don't think that much usually. And I find myself, turning into someone pretty insecure and selfish when I'm not...well, not wanted? Not center of attention? Well something along those lines anyway. I find myself disliking it when the attention or affection does not go to me but to someone else, even more so when it goes to my friends instead. Ugh.
It just proves it, I'm this jealous insecure freak, who by the way is still a slacker goofball. The thing is, I can actually erase these thoughts and feelings if I want to, and if I try to. But everytime I try, I can't. Maybe I'm just plain weird or I have issues. Lol.
How do you change yourself? And I don't mean physically, exterior change, but on the inside. The person in you. How do you change for the better? I know changing for the worse is easier. Lol. But this change, is it a good thing? I mean sure, changing for the better, but you're changing not because you want to , but because you feel like you need to. Is that a good thing, or not?
It's funny how people, like me, have so much questions but no one can seem to really answer.Well, except for God. But really, why do we ask so much questions when we know no one really has the answer? Or at least a good answer to it. Lol. There I go again, another question.
I realized my blog posts has lately been a lil weird, off-topic from my usual ramblings. Hehe. Probably because I'm suddenly aware of my blog-readership. Again, another surprising discovery. It kinda surprises me a little to have unexpected people reading my blog, not that I don't want them to or if it's a big deal, but it just surprises me. I guess I'll never comprehend the fact that 'Blog = open viewing'. But hey, carry on reading if you want to. I'm not complaining. At least I think so. Lol.
I'm still the slacker goofball that I am. I haven't completed my internship report and yet I'm still slacking around when I'm supposed to hand it up this Thursday. Which is a day after tomorrow. Lol. And I'm suppose to sort a few things out and not to forget, get a new hard disk. I have to stop downloading stuff. The more I download, the more stuff I have to burn into the CDs so that I can store it into my new hard disk. But I can't resist...Clubbox has got to be the coolest thing around. Hehe. And the guys keep getting themselves more awards and performances that I can't just leave and not get those clips.
Eric has recently gotten himself the Best Actor award at the recent MBC Drama Awards. Which is not a surprise there since he's so good at his acting. Hehe. But the amazing part is that he got it only after a year being awarded Best Newcomer Actor. Just proves how talented he is. And Dongwan has gotten the Best Newcomer Actor for the KBS Drama Awards. Even at their solo projects they are still that good. So it proves,that they don't just succeed as a group but also as individuals. This should shut those people who think they would fail as individuals and only survived as a group because of one or two 'good' singers in the group. I love it when I'm right. Lol. Arrogant brat me. But seriously, sometimes, some people can be a lil senseless in the words they say, and don't put much thought into their words. Which is why I now think twice before saying some stuff.
3 days into 2006...so far...it looks okay, but I'm still not all into it yet.
1 comment:
Hi jess, it's been awhile. ^__^
Well, there's a big distinctiveness between changing because you need to rather than wanting to. The feel of need might probably be derived from comparing yourself to any other individual whom you think better than you. Because in the first place there is no independent drive to change, there's a bigger probability of not changing in the end when you get tired of trying to change . Don't live up to other people's expectations. You're fine now, at least that's how I think.
Good luck!
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