feeling.....extremely spaced-out

It's either I have low self-confidence or I am just plain weird (which is nothing surprising). Everytime I see someone doing something that I can do as well, but the person seems to be better at it, I can't help but feel 'low'. Sort of like, I just can't seem to think mine's good enough and the person is just so much more better, smarter, etc. etc. Really degrading.

And I really hate feeling that way. I always say that. And then I always say, it's okay, I will try to ignore it and all. But I always end up this way again. Pretty pointless. Geez. I can never accept the fact that there will always be people better at some things that I'm not good at, or the fact that everyone's different with their own special abilities, etc. It's easy to say, but difficult to actually consume it down and let it stay there. Even if you keep repeating it to yourself over and over again.

Right now, it's the DDP magazine that's making me feel this way. I can't help but feel like I'm making some sort of mistake that's just waiting to blow up in my face with an extremely low grade, etc. I feel...incredibly stupid. I don't even know WHY I feel this way. WHY in the world am I letting these thoughts creep into my system....

These are the times I feel incredibly helpless. Some sort there anyway.

I wish I could go back to last weekend. Where I totally forgot about all else and just had fun. Then again, fun times could only last for so long. If it was all fun and no work, that would be pretty meaningless wouldn't it? Imagine what the world would come to be.

I'm miserable. I think I need a hug. A really comforting one. Anyone?

Or maybe I just need Kazuya. Or Hyesung. Or Yuichi. Or....Minwoo. Or maybe just my comfortable bed, covers, pillows and soft toys. Yeah. I need to curl up and wallow.