cRy...crY...thaT seeMs to Be all I'm doiNG....

"...And I know eventually we'll be together, one sweet day..."

Lately, all I seem to do is cry...okay just recently, this day or two. Sheesh, I really get emotinal easily. My eyes have just freshly cried just....20 minutes ago? I was reading Parfait Tic again, and yeah...I cried again. Ichi...Daiya...Fuuko...sigh. Complicated triangle. But Ichi...sigh. Just earlier this afternoon I cried again after reading a fan fic..a Final Fantasy 7 fan fic to be exact. I'm starting to think maybe I'm overloaded with crying hormones. Lol. Why else would I cry so easily? And the night before, I watch A Cinderella Story again...and yeap, I cried. Ugh. Starting to find myself really weird here.

I'm starting to think...I'm pretty selfish. I don't know why but that thought just came to me yesterday. Maybe it's something that triggered that thought but I don't know what. I have no idea selfish in what way...but I have a feeling..maybe it's the fact that I just keep to myself and don't actually do much for the world, as in I don't help the needy, the poor...etc. No offense to anyone, but it's just me feeling that way about myself. I feel like...I should help and not just sit around, and say that I will/would but then do nothing about it. It's like...a major hypocrite. I feel bad somehow...inside me, there's a feeling that's biting in me.
Sigh.

I don't know...maybe I'm just plain weird or something. Or...I don't know. I feel kinda confused here. I've suddenly seem to lost myself for a moment here. My sense of self, it seems to be...gone? Kinda feels like it. There's something bugging me...and I have no idea what. I don't seem to find the peace in myself. What is wrong with me??

I should blog off, my thoughts are getting pretty weird and lost. Maybe I'm just deprived from coffee (haven't had coffee since...since...omg, when WAS the last time I had coffee anyway?) or maybe I'm just deprived from football (feeling a little too high from the previous Arsenal game that I can't wait for the next game which is tonight/tomorrow morning) or maybe I'm just 'jiggy' over my finals. I really don't know! I really need to clear my head....