I have no, I repeat no interest in anything anymore. Well, at least when it comes to my degree studies. My brain is absolutely refusing to co-operate with me to think and work out on ideas, solutions, etc. It seems to have gone on a shut down where I just cannot access anything anymore when it comes to anything college-related. After the weblog assignment, every single enthusiasm (or what I originally have of it) seems to have died and dissapeared into oblivion.
I am starting to dislike my assignments and I simply cannot be bothered about it either. All I feel like doing is to just sit around, stare at a space or just curl up in my bed and sleep. I think my brain must have overworked itself during the first three weeks of college. I'm now into my fourth week and honestly? I feel very drained.
Am starting to doubt if what I've chose and am doing now, is what I really want to do. Sigh. Life is so complicated.
Right now, I'm also a little in disbelief that I'm playing Shinhwa songs back-to-back, especially the older ones, despite the fact that it's somehow making me feel a little annoyed. I don't know if it's their voice or just the images of them floating in my head, but it just doesn't seem to go down well with me. But I can't stop playing their songs either. Something is dreadfully wrong with me. Very wrong. They just, annoy me right now, but yet I want to listen to them. And I hate to say that Hyesung's voice is not providing any of the comfort that it used to then. Neither is Minwoo's. Yeap, something is definitely wrong.
It's either I'm just too tired and sluggish to have such thoughts and feelings, or I just plainly decided to kick both my degree studies and Shinhwa to the curb. I think it's the first one. I seriously hope so.
Please let it be the first one.
I think I'm just angry and annoyed that I'm not having any time for myself. It feels like every minute of my day and all, is being done for some reason other than for my own enjoyment/delight/etc. I feel extremely....restless, like I was in college today. I swear, I had almost felt like jumping out of my chair and run out of the i-lab, like some insane kid screaming at the top of her lungs. I was getting more and more irritated by the second and stomped my feet a couple of times, like your typical spoilt kid. I am definitely getting too stressed out with all this. This is madness. Utterly horribly mental.
I feel sick.
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