heRe's whAt's WRONG witH me...

What is wrong with me? A question I very frequently get...

In my last post, I said I was gonna try being happy always...well screw that. Thanks to people who just love to bring me down. They just love to make me cry. It's like a joke or something. It happens everywhere I go...from primary school to secondary to college. Wow. I must have a very bad past life or something.

Anyway, here are the answers to what's WRONG with me...
One: Just because I'm a usually cheerful person who is willing to oblige, does NOT mean I am doormat for you to step and trample all over. And it does NOT mean I do not get hurt/offended/etc.
Two: It's fine if one was to criticize me or whatever, but do NOT go overboard. There's a bloody fine line there...step over a lil, it's okay...but more than that...it's NOT okay. It hurts alot and it bloody hurts even more so if you're someone really close to me and especially if you're family.
Three: I'm happy to be there for you, etc and I understand if you don't need me all the time...but do NOT take that for granted and think I'm a ditch-able person and I wouldn't hurt if I was ditched.
Four: I may seem all happy and cheerful...but I DO have my insecurities too...I'm deathly afraid of loneliness...I love to be with people close to me...not to be shunned away.
Five: I am a fragile person after all my past experiences. It does not help if one was to act like someone from my past and give me a deja-vu.
Six: There's a wall I've built to defend myself,and it's breaking down cause of the love and care I receive...but at the same time I'm still getting hurt and the wall is building back up again.

This refers to practically everyone...from friends to family...I don't think there's really one person who can not be applied to this. And this makes me feel...I can't really trust anyone anymore. I'm starting to get sick of trusting people cause I just feel so stupid to do so after everything.As stupid and weird or whatever this sounds, it's doesn't matter. Nothing matters to me anymore. Cause everytime I stand up, I get pushed back down again...Thank you world.