fEelin' lucKy....

"You'll always be part of me, I'm part of you indefinitely..."

It's strange how after I got sick than only do I realize what a lucky, loved kid that I am. I got sick yesterday, stupid sore throat...that was killing me, I could hardly swallow without wincing in pain. When my mom reached out and felt me, she immediately knew I had a slight fever and I should go to the doctor. She told my dad, and my dad, despite having his appointment to go to later on, immediately offered to take me to a doctor. That made me felt loved and safe. My feelings of insecurities faded out. Today, at the mention of the word McDonalds and I felt like eating it, my dad immediately made a turn and headed for the drive-thru to place an order for me. Without hesitation he whipped out his wallet and paid for my breakfast (though I had actually eaten breakfast about...an hour plus earlier, okay, I'm a piggy at times, I admit!) It made me felt...bad and happy at the same time. Bad, cause here I thought my parents were...a pain the butt at times..hehe but they're not.Happy, cause I know my parents...love me! Hehe. Yeah, the sore throat is definitely worth it. I guess it's one of God's way to say...'You silly kid, stop it with your morbid self and wake up!' Lol.

Actually, I'm really lucky. I have....nearly everything. Well, not counting the CDs, DVDs, and other Arsenal/Good Charlotte/One Tree Hill related stuff. What I mean is, well, I just have what I need. My mom cooks for me my favorites, and adjusts to my eating habits of needing that, can't have this, etc. Like if I say I can't have raw pineapple cause it makes my throat itch and feel scratchy, she would remember so. My mom tries to make my new room as neat and cheerful as possible...just recently she placed all the little stuffed kangaroos & koalas beside my com table, decorating it. And my mom was the one who bought some stuff for me from Ikea to decorate my room. My dad even got me the Streamyx broadband all because he knew I just couldn't get away from the internet. Hehe. And at times when I use my com too intently until I forgot to eat, instead of forcing me to come out of my room and eat, he would ask me to grab some food and bring it in to my room, so I can play while I eat. How cool is that? And my brother is...the coolest. He recently came back from Ipoh, and with him...he bought back lot's of stuff. I had asked him to get some stuff for me which Ipoh is well known for, like the 'siew-ngor' (I'm not sure if it's Ipoh whose well known for this, but I do know that the 'siew-ngor' from Ipoh is wayyy delicious) and he remembered it all. Not only that, he even bought me a DVD, the movie Center Stage, for no reason at all. He just...bought it...for me. I was kinda speechless....my brother is seriously spoiling me at times. He just gets me stuff that he knew I would like...I mean, woah. He even told me he told a friend to get some chocolates from Langkawi for me cause it's a duty-free zone there...and I'm like...yippee! Man, I do feel...lucky. Hehe.

It makes me wonder, where did my morbid self came from anyway? Actually, I do have a sneaking suspicion of how it started, but uh...nevermind. I just hope this 'acts of love' from my family and friends can help me break my wall down. I need to knock the stacks of stones I placed, but I can't do that all by myself either. Hopefully, bit by bit, I'll be able to knock it all down and find myself again...and kick that morbid-depressed self side of me.

I got myself a new stuffed animal to my ever-growing collection of soft toys. It's a giraffe and it's so darn cute! Reason I bought it? It was half-price, I needed a smile and it was way cute. I decided to name it....Vincent. Hehe. Yeah, the Vincent name came from my current infatuation with Vincent Valentine. But hey, I'm not implying Vincent Valentine is a giraffe or looks/acts like one in any way, it's just that I was looking for a name, and I decided on...Vincent. I love the sound of the name. Vincent. Vincent Valentine. It sounds.... mysterious..with a hint of romance and a little secretive-like. I would like it if my boyfriend's name is Vincent. Which kinda reminds me, why in the world did I, in a way, 'rejected' a guy named Vincent before? He was..cute...and the very quiet type...but, he was nice. If I didn't 'rejected' him, I might be having a boyfriend named Vincent right now. Lol. That just sounds so crazy. To take a boyfriend all because his name is Vincent. Yup, that's insane. Really insane. I'm actually into Vincent Valentine, not just any Vincent. The Vincent who wears a dark-red cape, hiding half his face with it, with the dark long hair...okay,stop. Halt my thoughts. Maybe I should stop playing Final Fantasy 7 for now and get him out of my mind first...not! Hehe.

Right now, I'm really into Vin x Tifa fan fics. Yes, I am a huge fan of Vincent Valentine and Tifa Lockheart pairing. They are just...so similar but yet different. Okay, so I'm not making any sense here. Hehe. Fan fics are just great...it opens you to a totally different world, brings your imagination to fly, to shape however you want it to be. It's fun actually. There are so many good fan fic writers out there. They are just...so amazingly good! I totally admire those writers. As for myself, I write fan fics...but I have still yet to be that good, in my opinion. Hehe. I'm still deciding if I should link my fan fics...but uh...hehe, kinda embarrassed to. I look back at my first fic and I was like...woah..so long? So silly? So funny? Hehe. Personally, I think my first fan fic, which is a One Tree Hill fic, was a little....immature, and not that interesting, and it was too long. The second fic, another One Tree Hill fic, with focus on Nathan & Haley, is...I think...pretty okay, better than the first I would say. But my first Slam Dunk fic...ugh...it's okay, but I think I kinda over-did my characters a little. My second attempt, a one-shot, was kinda like a rip-off of a Korean music video but with slight adjustments. However, for my most recent one...another SD fic, this time a MitHaru pairing, another one-shot...I'm more satisfied with it actually. It doesn't seem too bad to me. I'm actually tempted to write a one-shot on Vin x Tifa...but, I'm kinda a chicken to do so. Lol. Though all in all, the fics received pretty good responses & reviews...hehe, yeah, a little bragging here. Hehe.

Kinda gotten my semester 4 results...and....drumrolls please (okay, so semi-drumrolls)...I got an A, 3 A-'s and a B+. However, the results are unofficial yet, yet to be released on the transcript. But...hehe, let's just say I'm happy with my results. A- for Marketing, Desktop Publishing and Journalism 1. B+ for Social Psychology and..A for Comm Research Methods. I'm way enthusiastic over the last one. Cause it's the subject that I worked the hardest on and received fruitful results...my research project especially. Hehe. And also the little fact that...no one had gotten an A in that subject before during my lecturer's teaching period of...2 years? Yeap, a major achievement for me. Like hell yeah. But the bragging rights are not just mine, Mags (my wonderful friend who introduced me to the world of Final Fantasy and Japanese manga) also got an A...and I'm pretty sure another friend of mine got A too. I hope everyone did well in the finals. Still, I lost to my brother...who gotten a near perfect CGPA for his recent finals...I think I only got a 3.65 (so close to an A-....just another 0.02 points) while he, Mr Smart-Ass got a 3.98. Oh well, I'll beat him next semester, I am, after all, the smarter one. Lol. *Runs away from my brother's evil grip*

Right, off to dinner now...I've been staring at the screen for nearly 3 hours, reading fan fics. Damn, I'm getting to addicted to my com...I still have yet to play FF7...and that would mean another few hours staring at the screen...hehe. Oh well...