"My head is a box full of nothing, and that's the way I like it...My garden's a secret compartment and that's the way I like it..."
Only one word to describe how I'm feeling right now. Miserable. Very. I'm having a flu, which makes me feel very tired all the time and makes me feel like not doing anything at all. And I keep feeling hungry, every 2 hours max. I need to eat, alot...alot, this is me when I'm sick. I need to eat alot. Everything and anything. Strange though, cause most people when they're sick, they don't feel like eating, but for me...I need to eat. Lol.
Right, the match yesterday night. Because of my flu, I couldn't stay up to watch the second half. My head felt so heavy and my eyes kept closing by itself. I gave in and trusted Arsenal. Well, the first half wasn't bad, though it looked like there were a few mistakes here and there. I have no idea how the second half went. All I know, Fabregas scored a goal, well, the only goal actually. And as dissapointed as I am to say...we lost. Lol. Yes, we lost. 2-1. Chelsea won the FA Community Shield. I guess that's just football. Chelsea did gave a good game though. While for Arsenal, well, we were pretty okay too. Oh well, the EPL is about to start, so, we should focus on that. Who knows, we might regain our position and title this season...hehe.
Life is...confusing right now. One minute I feel okay, then I feel miserable, then positive, then normal, then weird, then sad, then angry...then...well, a rollercoaster ride basically. My mind is screwed 7 ways from Sunday. I can't think properly and I can't make up my mind either. I hate being 17+. I'm straddled between the line of being a teen and being a young adult. I want to go back to being 16 again, or 15. Whatever.
I'm turning 18 this December. Whee... Note the 'excitement'. Lol. 18. How is my birthday gonna be like, I have no idea. I'm hoping for something different...unusual, special...after all, 18. Lol. Heck, like turning 18 is a big thing. As far as I can guess, no one's really gonna bother about me turning 18. I'll always be seen as the 14 year old, oh wait no, it's 12 actually. Okayyyy. Not that I'm complaining. There's always the perks of being treated like you're 12. Well for one, people are considerably nicer to you. They give you extra treats. They take care of you...they spoil you. Ah yes, the joy of being a 12 year old in the eyes of others. But there's always the downside to everything too. So the downside of being seen as a 12 year old...people think you're stupid (which is actually pretty cool, cause then you can surprise/shock them with your 'hidden intelligence'), people think you need help for everything and anything, people will be trying to 'protect' you from everything and anything they consider to be 'not-for-child-material' (even when it's not).
So do I like being treated as a 12 year old? Well, it depends. With friends...no. Hell no. With my family, no. Except for my parents and brother...but that's only once in a while. With my maternal grandma, definitely. She sees me as a 12 year old everytime anyway. Besides, I love being spoilt by her...she's great! She's awesome as a 70 something grandma. I'm proud to be her granddaughter. With lecturers/etc...no. Please, no. With my boyfriend (that is if I were to have one...Lol)...probably, most likely, no.
Speaking of boyfriends, my friends bombarded me with questions on my love life...ONCE AGAIN. They think I'm hiding my boyfriend from them. And I'm being selfish for not telling them or introducing them to him. Well, one thing is...how can I? When I don't have one?!?!? As much as I would like to stroll up to them at the 'mamak' place with my boyfriend's comforting and reassuring hand in mine, and with a big grin plastered on my face and a smile on his, and I open my mouth to say, "This is...*name*", and everyone stares at his good looks and warm smile...I can't...cause I don't have one. Lol. However, saying "No, I don't" doesn't convince them at all.
I have a sneaky feeling that my best friend thought the name engraved on my necklace pendant(when she first saw it) is my 'boyfriend's' name. She squinted to read the name from afar and her eyebrows were knitted together with that 'look' in her eyes when she asked me who was that. Lol. I wish! But I quickly dismissed that suspicion of hers by telling her that it's just the name of this singer that I like, just for fun. She raised an eyebrow at first but then believed me cause she knew I was always into certain singers anyway. Yeah, how I wish to have him as my boyfriend...but that is only a dream. Besides, reality check...I don't even really know him! He's 26...I'm 18. He's in S.Korea, I'm in Malaysia. He probably already has someone he loves. So he remains...a dream guy. Well, dream guys are better sometimes, cause they can't reject you or break your heart. Lol. Maybe I'll give a one shot, to tell my friends that he's my boyfriend, without revealing his identity just his two last name. I can bet (about RM100, which is an amount I need right now to buy a couple CDs n DVD from YesAsia) that they will believe me and start firing away with questions of him. Oh yeah, I can imagine my answers.
Q1: How did you meet him?
A1: Oh, through music.
Q2: How long already?
A2: (Uncertain)Um...well, about two weeks?
Q3: Two weeks? So new?
A3: Yeah....
Q4: How he looks like? Good looking ar? Sure good looking one la, you always like good looking guys/Sure a bit unique wan, you always have a funny(weird) taste in guys....
A4: (Grins)Well, he's...unique alright. He's 179 cm, has small eyes, not to small though, fair skin, slightly long-ish hair, he likes to cover his eyes with his hair sometimes, charming smile and just perfect.
Q5: Wah! Sure or not ar? So that name on your pendant is his name la?
A5: (Fingers the necklace with a sheepish smile) Yeap.
Q6: How old is he?
A6: 26.
Q7: (Gasps)Yo...someone in love here... When you want to let us meet him?
A7: Oh anytime. Right now if you want to (Takes out photo holder from pocket)
Q8: Really?Wow. Call him come la then, we wanna meet him.
A8: I can't do that. He's in South Korea right now. I don't think he'll be coming to Malaysia anytime so soon.
Q9: Then how do you guys meet up?
A9: We don't meet.
Q10: (Baffled) ................ then how you guys met each other? Online?
A10: (Shrugs) I don't know. I have yet to find out. Hopefully some time soon.
Q11: What is he?
A11: He's a singer.
Q12: (Lost at words)
A12: (Grins) No la. I was crapping all the way. He's all that I described of, and all that I've answered is true except for the fact that he's my boyfriend. (Starts to laugh)
Yeap. Trust me. The questions will be some sort like that.
I guess I'll end here. My mind is going slightly weirded out with this whole boyfriend thing. Lol.
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