bruiseD....

"Is anybody listening...Can they hear me when I call?"

For the first time, my hand is actually really, really, really, I mean really, bruised and swollen from my own self-inflicting destructive side. My right hand hurts when I try to bend it much. There's like a little bump at the right side and my last finger is actually bruised badly. It's blue-black-red right now and a slight contact leaves me wincing in pain. Never knew I could be that destructive. For the first time, I really injured myself. Like mentioned before in my past blog entry, it will hurt even more badly tomorrow whereby the slight movement of my last finger will practically be the last thing I would ever want to do. Right now, it's okay, just bruised but tomorrow...let's just say I prefer to keep my hand away from anything n everything tomorrow.

I'm hurt. Alone. Sad. Empty. Scared. I still haven't had my dinner, don't really intend to. My last meal was 8 hours ago. Yeap, today is my most destructive mood day. Tears and screams... gawd, I'm like a freak right now. Freakish.

Well, just wanted to place what I am feeling today. No sympathy needed or wanted. Just thought I would look back one day and read this to know how freaky I can be. Besides, the bruise there, it's kinda like a medal of honor from some stupid war. Lol. Whatever.